Pitch Wars 2018 #BoostMyBio for BLOOD PRINCESS

It’s that time of year again! Pitch Wars submissions are just around the corner, and it’s time to #BoostMyBio!

About Me

Processed with Rookie Cam
Yes, I took a pic with sushi last year, too.

You can find me on Twitter and Instagram at @Adelle_Yeung. (I also did #PWPoePrompts!)

I was a Pitch Wars 2017 mentee. My mentor was the amazing Laurie Dennison, who taught me sooo much last year, and I loved the whole process so much, I’m back for more punishment. I was the YA scavenger hunt winner last year, so if the scavenger hunt is back this year, you definitely wanna do it!

First and foremost, I am writer. It’s my number one passion and that’s never going to change. I write fantasy. I also voice act, play video games, do digital paintings, sew clothes sometimes and maybe do some smaller crafty things. I also love nature and hiking ❤

(Speaking of voice acting, I narrated a short excerpt from Chapter Four of Blood Princess! Listen to it here.)

(Speaking of video games, I made a short RPG spanning the first two chapters of Blood Princess! Check it out here.)

 

I’m a clerical substitute for my local school district, which is an on-call job which means I have plenty of time to write.

I work fast with pretty much everything I do, from walking to typing and especially reading. A lot of my PW ’17 mentees are amazed at how fast I can get through their manuscripts and provide feedback 😉 (It also helps that they’re amazing writers.)

Anyway, enough about me. The real purpose of this post is to show off my YA high fantasy, Blood Princess!

Blood Princess Mockup Cover

In my MS

  • A plus-sized heroine
  • Two ace and one bi POVs
  • A diverse cast
  • Adventure!
  • Non-elemental magic
  • Blood-sucking, breath-stealing ghosts
  • Airships!
  • Interracial, low key romance
  • Some dark stuff that maybe I shouldn’t mention here…

Novel Aesthetics

Act IAct IIAct III

The Pitch

Pitch One

A cursed princess, a ghost herder, and an airship captain join forces to stop a sadistic empress from stealing the powers of a death god.

Pitch Two

When a plus-sized princess discovers she transforms into a bloodthirsty monster every night, she tracks down a fallen death god to exorcise herself and her haunted empire.

What It’s Really About

Adapting to a world that a previous generation screwed over. (Basically what it’s like being a millennial.)

Comp Titles

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Reign the Earth – A fantasy set in a desert without djinn. A princess with a big heart. Sadistic royalty who strive to eradicate something. A whole lot of dark things that should only be whispered instead of screamed.

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Forest of a Thousand Lanterns – An evil empress and…stuff I don’t wanna give away 😉

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Children of Blood and Bone – A three-POV diverse high fantasy. A journey to bring something back from the dead. And a love interest’s royal asshole of a parent.

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Princess Mononoke – For a spirit-infested forest and morally ambiguous characters.

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Atlantis: The Lost Empire – A ragtag crew quests to discover a lost myth beneath the ocean!ff9_keyart_1920x1080_v1

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Final Fantasy IX – The first act of Blood Princess is similar to the first act of FFIX. On the celebration of the princess’s birthday, an airship crew kidnaps the princess to save her from her evil mother’s nefarious deeds.

POV Babies

Princess Khalida

The Cursed Princess

Khalida DancesPrincess Khalida wants to eradicate the plague of dead spirits from her empire. On her seventeenth birthday, she finds out her mother has been plumping her up as a sacrifice to a death god. She’s in love with her dancing instructor, Lake, who’s her only friend aside from her nurse, Haripet.

She loves to dance, wants to be friends with everyone, and finds beauty in everything.

Aesthetics Khalida

Lake Acaerius CLXXXII

The Ghost Herder (also known as “the royal wraither”)

Lake Contemplates his ExistenceLake is the royal wraither of the imperial city, Zoahen, which means he uses dance to herd the dead spirits infesting Khalida’s empire. He succeeded his uncle’s position three years ago, with hopes of exploring and finding his place in the world. The only one who makes him feel like he belongs is Khalida, who he adores…in a completely non-romantic way.

He’s vegan and likes animals more than people but will blindly jump off an airship to save someone’s life.

Aesthetics Lake

Viprey Baas

The Airship Captain (undercover as a palace masseuse)

Viprey Eats

Viprey can’t stand injustice and overturns corrupt leaders to give power back to the common folk. She goes undercover in the Zoahen palace to uncover the empress’s evil schemes. When she finds out that the royal wraither, Lake Acaerius, is the only one who knows what the empress is after, she also discovers Khalida’s dark secret: the empress has cursed her own daughter into becoming a bloodthirsty monster.

Outside of her meek massuese persona, Viprey is a sassy, skilled rebel who has an airship of her own and freely spews Brit swears.

Aesthetics Viprey

The Villain

Empress Khandara

The Sadistic Empress

Her Imperial Majesty

Empress Regnant of the Jheffirani Empire. Khandara is ambitious, indulgent, and has no qualms about killing her subjects if it means ensuring a better future for their children. She’ll even sacrifice her daughter if it means the masses can benefit.

Aesthetics Empress Khandara

Closing Word

Pitch Wars 2017 was an amazing experience for me. Around this time last year, I heard all these people saying how amazing the community is, and I’m another voice to add to the chorus, the community is AMAZING. After the agent round last year, many of us felt as if we’d been in literal battle trenches together. (I looove my Pitch Wars class 😭)

However, even if you aren’t chosen as a mentee this year, there a many other places where you can get the support you need, but keep in mind that you get more out of the community the more you put in.

For more visual types:

Also, I hope this goes without saying, but when the mentees are announced this year, please be a good sport about it ❤ Support other hopefuls and congratulate those who get in! A lot of people are watching the contest, and you want to leave a good impression 😊

Pitch Wars is super high energy and fast, so keep the positive energy flowing!

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Blood Princess Mini RPG

Screenshot Title

I made a mini-RPG! It covers the first two-ish chapters of Blood Princess and it should only take 10-20 minutes to play.

Unfortunately, I think it only works on Windows…

Download it here! ←

(If you don’t have the means of playing, I recorded the main footage of the game and DUBBED it! Like a total nerd.)

Once you have it downloaded and unzipped, run “Blood Princess Game.exe” within the “Blood Princess Game” folder.

If you want to play in full screen, press F1 upon loading and check “Launch in Full Screen,” then quit and restart.

Creation Full Screen

Use the arrow keys to move
Spacebar for Action/Confirm
Esc/Insert for Menu/Cancel

To save, press Esc/Insert and go to “Save” at the bottom of the menu. (I highly recommend saving just before completing the nosen herding! (I mean, the game is only 10-20 minutes long, but depending on your luck, a certain battle can either be the easiest thing in the world or a rage quitter if you forget to save 😅 ))

Here are some screenshots!

Screenshot BattleScreenshot SceneScreenshot MenuScreenshot Cactus

It’s a bit silly, and there’s maybe only one line of text from the actual manuscript.

I created in this in RPG Maker VX Ace, using either assets included with the pack, including Game Character Hub, or free ones I found online. The only thing I created from scratch were the character faces for Khalida and Lake, which I already had lying around.

Here’s a sneak peek at the creation process:

Creation Desert Events

Above, you’ll see the most complicated event map. A lot of these things aren’t visible when you first enter the screen. I had a grand ol’ time setting up the switches. </sarcasm>

Creation Edit Event Poof

This event, just above the spirit well, is maybe the most complicated one. It only appears after you trigger another event, it switches party members, changes the screen color…

Creation Edit Event Kill Nosens

THIS particular event gave me so much grief. It’s a conditional event that displays certain text as you advance in the quest.

And for funsies, this next image is the whole map.

Creation Map

In hindsight, I probably could’ve made the whole desert a single, huge map, but I was teaching myself as I went 😅

Eliope only shows up for a second or two, so here’s a pic of the cutie’s sprite.

Eliope

Also, I threw in a reference to Avatar: The Last Airbender and Persona 5. See if you can catch ’em 😛

(If, while playing, you think, “Wow, you dork!” my job here is done.)

Chrono Trigger’s Wind Scene

(I need a break from Pitch Wars revisions.)

Ah, Wind Scene. Also known as the overworld music from 600 AD in Chrono Trigger. And for me, the most nostalgic song of the entire game. Yes, even the main theme song. Even Schala’s theme.

Check out my most recent favorite rendition by Malcolm Robinson:

It makes me go like this:

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Hand-to-chest, tears-in-eyes.

I love this song so much I need to write an essay about it.

Chrono Trigger is one of my favorite games. It was the game that inspired me to write when I first played it all those years ago. I love the plot, I love the characters, I love the world, I love the sprite artwork… siiiiiigh. Although it’s now over twenty years old, I still think it’s practically a perfect game. I even played finished it again just a few weeks ago. On New Game Plus. Within three days. Because NG+ OP AF.

For those of you who’ve never played Chrono Trigger, go play it!!

Anyway, Wind Scene. Allow me to offer some backstory.

In Chrono Trigger, you play as a young man named Crono, who’s excited for the Millennial Fair. He’s to meet his best friend, Lucca, an inventor (and honestly, one of my earliest fictional role models). At the fair, he bumps into a cute young lady who calls herself Marle, and she asks him to show her around.

However, once they reach Lucca’s invention, Marle’s pendant reacts to the machine and sends her off into a wormhole. Oh no! Heroic-yet-silent Crono offers to go after her. He finds himself in a strangely familiar land, where…this song plays. Wind Scene.

Now, little me was SPELLBOUND.

When you play as the silent protagonist, you’re just as confused as he is. As familiar as the surroundings are, no one knows about this “Millennial Fair,” an evil sorcerer is terrorizing the land, and all you want is to find the pretty blond girl and go back home. Then you find out that your best friend sent you 400 years into the past! And Wind Scene is perfect at capturing that feeling. The wonder of wandering your hometown in the past! Not knowing how you got there! Having to ask for help in pubs with a bunch of scary drunk people, all by yourself! The mystery of Marle’s heritage! And of course, saving the world by traveling to various timelines to protect the future, and you aren’t even aware of this yet.

Listening to Wind Scene and having all that nostalgia flood back to me is the most amazing feeling, and I wish I could pass on this fluttery feeling of love. But nostalgia develops in a certain time and place. For those of you who hadn’t grown up with Chrono Trigger, all I can do is share my words, a powerful song, and urge you to play it, yourself.

Nintendo DS - Chrono Trigger

(Go play Chrono Trigger! The DS version is available from GameStop, Walmart, and eBay, among other places.)

Mapping a Fantasy World

World Map 2g

My next big fantasy, “Blood Princess” (working title) will require a full world map 😉 So, decided to make one from scratch.

Now, I’m no geologist, but I know just a taaad about continental drift.

I started with an oval of the world, drew some fault lines, and then had some land mass bleed out onto the earth. Things begin to drift, collide, create mountains and continents, leaving islands in their wake…

I know I wanted a big “main” continent, so there it is smack in the middle, while the smaller continents are there on the sides. I’m not sure if I gave the world enough water, though :\

Taking the poles and equator into equation, I painted in some deserts, icy wastelands, forests, mountains, and it’s good to go!

Suuure, I could have just painted any old land mass and gone with that, but I thought doing it in a somewhat more scientific way would be more fun 😀

Eventually, I’ll fill out a fair portion with land marks and cities, but for now…hey, it’s a map of the world!

Here’s a gif of the process 🙂

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Of course, you can do this in a much more low-tech, kid-friendly way with some construction paper, scissors, and glue 😀 Use some blue paper as the sea, cut about 1/3 the size out of green paper, cut a jagged outline for pangaea, cut that up, and rearrange over the sea for your own world map!

WIP “Blood Princess” Character Concepts

I asked my amazeballs artist buddy Brandon Lacey (who designed The Cycle of the Six Moons cover art, check ’em out here!) to come up with some character concept for an upcoming high fantasy “Blood Princess” (working title).

Here are two main characters, Khalida and Lake (with Astra).

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Check it out on DeviantArt here! http://fav.me/dbe133z

Khalida is, well, a princess. A chubby–albeit beautiful–princess. Lake is her mentor who has an animal familiar named Astra. In the exercise below, I wrote her as a “falcon,” but I’m open to changes since, again, this is all very early concept. Brandon drew her with some beautiful plumage, which I am aaabsoooluuutely fine with.

commission___fireworks_dance_by_blue_paint_sea-dajj0hvGiven Brandon’s previous work with Shantae fan art, belly dancer types, and full-figured women, I thought it’d be a fun idea to get him involved in the creative process for a story still very early in conceptualization. (I’m querying agents for The House with Two Faces, so I’m just keepin’ busy in this very long and slow process.) Plus, Brandon’s just really fun to work with. (Check out my other posts on working with Brandon for The Starriest Summer, An Eclipsing Autumn, and The Last Winter Moon!

I think Khalida’s design was easiest for both of us to come to an agreement. The fiery colors just work for her.

Lake’s colors took some playing with, but I like the result here 😀

As a writing exercise centered around the word “hot,” I wrote this fun piece that, in some way, will probably end up in the final story.

     Steaming, jasmine foam trickled down the sides of Lake’s body onto the hot stone slab beneath him.  He nearly inhaled a mouthful of bubbles when the attendant splashed cool water over his back.  The shock rejuvenated him with all the energy he needed for the nighttime festivities ahead.  Lake’s pulse quickened as he mentally rehearsed his performance with Astra.  His golden falcon shimmered beneath the bathhouse’s geometric dome ceiling, and her amber eyes blinked lazily as she watched the cloud of soap disappear from her master’s head.

     Fully rinsed, Lake ran his fingers over his exfoliated arms.  His skin was reddened from all the scrubbing, but it was smoother than he could ever recall.  However, the delights were his only, as soon enough, his ceremonial robes would cover every inch of his body.

     “Let us dry off in here,” he called to Astra.  She swooped down from the ceiling and into the hot chamber next door.

     Once he left the washroom, the water on Lake’s body began to evaporate.  He threw on his sheer under robes, which immediately stuck to his skin.  As he smoothed out the wrinkles and fastened his belt, Astra rose to the ceiling to gulp cooler air.  Lake would have to hurry back to his quarters before the heat overcame him and he would want to take another bath.

     Thinking of the crimson robes hanging in his wardrobe, Lake waved to his falcon.  “Come, Astra.”

     A high voice gasp came from above.  “Lake, it is you!”

     Already startled from a girl’s voice, Lake slipped on the tile when he saw stubby, tan fingers folded through the holes of the geometric ceiling.  A pair of large, emerald eyes peered back at him.

     “Your Highness!” Lake sputtered.

     This time, heat of embarrassment washed over him.  He covered himself as modestly as he could, scrambling back to the washroom and out of the princess’s sight.  Astra remained by the ceiling of the hot chamber, munching on a newt that Khalida had slipped her.  Khalida’s giggles echoed into the room, and the bemused attendant watched Lake with a dripping bucket in hand.

     “Your Highness!” Lake spat, more sternly this time.  “Do you realize how improper this is?!  To climb the men’s bathhouse!  To see me in such a state!”

     A giggle rang in each of Khalida’s words.  “What are you going to do?  Tell my mother?”

     Lake’s voice deepened gravely.  “How much did you see?”

     “Oh, Lake, I told you, the only birthday gift I wanted from you was to see your face.  I knew you were handsome!  Come out so I can see you again.”

     Lake could feel his whole head swelling with blood.  Anyone could see through his sheer robes, but the princess was so naïve that maybe the only thing she cared about seeing was his face.

     The attendant inched closer to him, wearing an expression that said, “Is that Princess Khalida?”  Lake nodded to him.

     “A very happy birthday to you, Your Highness,” Lake called to her.  “Now, please, would you allow me some privacy so you may see me again fully clothed?  And please take caution in climbing down the roof.”

     Khalida giggled.  “Certainly!  Thank you, Lake!  I’ll see you later.”

     The men stood in silence as Khalida blew a kiss at Astra.  They heard rustling in the trees overhead as Khalida jumped off the roof and climbed out of sight.

     Lake exhaled all the air in his lungs and slouched forward.  The under robes adhered so closely to his drenched body that bubbles formed beneath the cloth.  Lake started to peel the robes off and told the attendant, “I need another rinse.”

You can find Brandon on DeviantArt as blue-paint-sea. He’s currently open for commissions and is an absolute delight to work with. Give him a holler!

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The Epic World of Starrs by Adelle Yeung

Our Epic Worlds

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Fifteen-year-old Michelle saves the world on a daily basis…with her trusty video game controller, of course! Naturally, she jumps at the chance to play an experimental virtual reality game.

The beautiful fantasy world of Starrs? Check. The power to mold matter? Check. No reset button? Wait, she didn’t sign up for this!

Turns out Starrs is really real, and to make matters worse, Michelle’s interference awakens the Cycle of the Six Moons, a series of devastating trials that will devour the universe.

Fighting the apocalypse was way easier when danger stayed on the other side of the screen, but Michelle finds a secret weapon in her new-found powers. She uses them to rescue the crown prince of a powerful magic kingdom from their sworn enemies, a technologically-advanced cult that strives to eradicate magical blood.

View original post 485 more words

Seeking Beta Readers – The House with Two Faces

The House with Two Faces is nearing its final edits before I send it off to agents, BUT I’d like some feedback and more polish 😉 So hello beta readers!

I’ve narrated and uploaded videos of me narrating the first three chapters, which I hope is enough to entice readers and literary agents into reading more.  Check ’em out below and let me know if you’d like to read ’em!

(I’ve actually already received and implemented feedback, so the samples I’ll send out won’t be exactly the same as what’s below.)

Read Chapter One on Wattpad

Read Chapter Two on Wattpad

Read Chapter Three on Wattpad

Voting for Mockup Covers

Throughout February, I created mockup covers for my next book, The House with Two Faces (which I guess I should abbreviate to HTF, like I did with CSM).  For the first few days, I kept adding and changing things, then added and changed more covers.

Here’s what the first poll looked like:

CoverMockupVotes

1, 3, and 4 got the most votes.  A lot of people chose #1, I suppose because of its adherence to the title and its simple vector style which is similar to The Cycle of the Six Moons covers.  But I wanted to make sure that this book has nothing to do with CSM, so I wanted to stray away from that.

I still liked #2, though, mostly because of how it has to do with “magic!” and those who actually read the synopsis made good points about the second cover.

So then, instead of narrowing down the results, I offered a bunch of alternatives.

CoverMockupVotes2.png

In the end, it came down to 3 and 4.

covermockupvotes4.png

So I offered even more alternatives by making #1 look more art deco with the corner pieces and the font, and I liked the red I added to her face, so I added that to #2.

BUT IT WAS STILL MISSING THE MAGICAL ASPECT.  So then I did THIS

covermockupvotes6-8x10.png

And I really liked #3 because of magic and 20s buuuut still, the votes were super close between #1 and #2.

I gathered 357 votes total.

That put #1 at 44%, #2 at 38%, and #3 at 18%.

#1 was preferred by high school and middle school students, as well as girls.

#2 was preferred by people my age and older, as well as boys.

So, in the end, I guess we’re going with this one.

Cover Mockup 3E.png

Which is actually my least favorite cover ’cause I just don’t prefer photographic images of faces on covers 😅

Anyway, this isn’t a “final mockup” cover.  It’s just what I’m going to use when I post the first three chapters on Wattpad so I can get beta readers 🙂

 

Local Writers Tell All

lFrom the YA Panel “Local Writers Tell All” at the Suisun City Library on January 21.

Meet local authors Adelle Yeung (The Cycle of Six Moons), Jess Flower (RedBird), and book blogger Jesalin Belk (Blogging Everything Beautiful) to talk about books, writing, and following your dream of becoming a writer. They will share their insights about how to write for young adults, and their experiences with self-publishing books and blogs.

Continue reading “Local Writers Tell All”

NaNoWriMo in December!

I couldn’t do NaNoWriMo last month because I was busy trying to promote The Last Winter Moon, so I decided to do it this month with a brand new  standalone book, (WIP title) The House with Two Faces!

I actually started on November 28 (the day before Final Fantasy XV came out) and wrote for a total of 34 days, as of today, the last day of 2016.  And I’m probably going to be a bit more editing later today, but the word count for today is over 1,667 so I’m content with that 🙂

I reached 50,000 words on day 20, and finished the first draft of the book on day 23, for an average of 2,691 words for the first draft.

On the days of editing, I averaged 1,897 words per day.

The lowest word count I wrote for the month was 517 on day 24, right after I finished the first draft.

The most I wrote was yesterday at 7,127 words.  (I’m not even sure how I did it.)

Now for a cool graph!

nanowrimo-2016-graph

And other nerdy statistics.  Yay nerdiness!

Day Date Expected Actual
1 28-Nov-16 1667 4729
2 29-Nov-16 3334 6605
3 30-Nov-16 5001 8569
4 1-Dec-16 6668 9805
5 2-Dec-16 8335 13702
6 3-Dec-16 10002 15812
7 4-Dec-16 11669 16490
8 5-Dec-16 13336 19035
9 6-Dec-16 15003 20895
10 7-Dec-16 16670 22023
11 8-Dec-16 18337 24354
12 9-Dec-16 20004 26603
13 10-Dec-16 21671 30589
14 11-Dec-16 23338 34888
15 12-Dec-16 25005 38899
16 13-Dec-16 26672 41009
17 14-Dec-16 28339 43553
18 15-Dec-16 30006 45865
19 16-Dec-16 31673 48813
20 17-Dec-16 33340 51823
21 18-Dec-16 35007 54945
22 19-Dec-16 36674 59013
23 20-Dec-16 38341 61895
24 21-Dec-16 40008 62412
25 22-Dec-16 41675 64117
26 23-Dec-16 43342 66192
27 24-Dec-16 45009 67331
28 25-Dec-16 46676 69259
29 26-Dec-16 48343 70027
30 27-Dec-16 50000 71600
31 28-Dec-16 50000 72646
32 29-Dec-16 50000 73487
33 30-Dec-16 50000 80614
34 31-Dec-16 50000 82765

I also “drew” some things for research.  Here’s the character concept art I sketched a few weeks ago.  Thinking of making Paula curvier though.  Her figure is too boyish.

cast1

And I made a diagram of the theater/house 🙂 It’s not quite to scale, though.  The doors got bigger toward the end.  Heh heh…

cort-theater

I also did the NERDIEST THING and create the house in the Sims 2 (I got the whole thing free on Origin!).  I couldn’t furnish it right, but hey, the structure is there 😀 (Tip: It’s easier to make a house in the Sims if you have a layout on hand instead of just drawing walls hoping for the best.)

That’s it for now 😀 Back to more editing, I guess >_<

Have a great new year, everyone!! 😀